A Healthy Relationship Doesn’t Develop By Mistake
Many variables play into our over all well being and non more important than the way we pursue a Healthy Relationship throughout the dating process. Being a loner, for the majority of us, is not the way to go. We are built to do life together and it is this that drives us to connect with others and develop love interest in hopes that the inclusion of that special someone into our lives will fill the void that exist when you’re doing life by yourself.
Now as much as we believe that doing life together is healthy for us, we’re not saying that there aren’t times where being by yourself isn’t a good thing. We do recognize and support the idea that there are times where it is important and extremely beneficial for a person to spend some time with themselves. Time spent resolving internal issues and hang ups, coming to peace with heartbreak, dealing with any lingering guilt, recharging emotionally and spiritually, spoiling yourself and celebrating you, as well as, doing an honest evaluation of yourself and your choices throughout your pass dating experiences can be highly beneficial and rewarding. Because at the root of it all, it’s your choices that get you where you are and if you don’t like where you are then it’s your choices that need to change.
We can’t emphasize this enough… don’t under value the importance of taking the time to be alone with yourself. Of course there are probably at least another hand full of suggestions that we could of included and the reality is most of you probably won’t get anywhere close to completing the ones we did, before starting to date again. And that’s OK! It’s life, we’re human and it’s what we do many times. But if you want to increase your chance for a different outcome in your dating life, rather than leaving it up to chance, it’s in your best interest to make the time do this for yourself. Take the Time to Recharge yourself, use the Time to Reevaluate your choices and embrace the Time to Reestablish the values that will guide you through your next dating experience.
Once you have done this, you’ve truly set yourself up for Success. Now success doesn’t mean that your next date is going to lead to wedding bells. However, what it does mean is that you’ve prepared yourself to enter into the next date with the peace of mind and the confidence necessary to potentially go from just a date to eventually establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship with someone.
Looking forward, once you have taken care of yourself through this process, you should be Emotionally, Physically and Spiritually ready to put into action some of the great relationship advice that’s been given too you in the past but for whatever reasons you chose not to listen too. And if you happen to be one of those people who can truly say that you have never been given any great advice when it comes to dating, we just happened to have put together a short list of our staffs Top Dating Tips for Men and Women:
1. Spend more time listening than talking. Common opinion is that we should be turned off by a person who dominates the conversation during a date and we agree if it is excessive. But there is a positive to this, the more they talk the more you should be able to learn about this person before getting emotionally invested in them.
2. Toss out your baggage from pass experiences or run the risk of sabotaging the new one. We define baggage as anything that hinders you from moving forward and separating new experiences from your previously bad ones. Learn from your past, don’t hide behind it!
3. Don’t treat your date like a job interview. You don’t have to get all your answers in one meeting. When you go at it this way you run the risk of the date just telling you what it is they think you want to hear and this is what you don’t wont.
4. Men chivalry isn’t dead and ladies act like you know this. Opening doors and pulling out chairs for a lady still counts for something but ladies if you don’t expect it or show appreciation for it then it will go away.
5. Don’t under value the importance of manners. If he or she can’t handle themselves with manners while in public how do you think their going to be with you once the infatuation phase has worn off?
6. Hobbies and interest are important…. if you yourself don’t have any, try getting one or two before jumping back out into the dating world. Usually people who have established interests in their life aren’t the type of people who will then place unrealistic expectations on others to make them happy. Because there is no need, there already doing it for themselves.
7. Don’t seek perfection during the dating process. Healthy conflict provides a great opportunity for growth, as well as, a chance for you gain even more perspective and insight into your potential mate before doing something stupid like moving in with them.
8. Learn how to admit when you are wrong as soon as you recognize that you are wrong. Being right at any cost will usually cost you everything.
9. Establish a list of what we call “Non Negotiables” for yourself: these are things that you just won’t accept in a date no matter what. It doesn’t matter whether these “NNs” are realistic or not. All that matters is that you move on once confronted with one of them, otherwise you waste your time and the other persons time by going forward with a situation that you already know you don’t have the heart to see through.
10. Say what you want and what you need. Ladies especially, you can’t assume or expect the other person to just know.
11. Respect the other persons right to be who they are and if you can’t then respectfully move on.
12. Is this person good enough today because change may come or never come at all…. can you live with that? You’ve got to answer this question before getting fully and emotionally invested in a love interest.
13. Let a persons actions carry more weight than their words. “See the truth of what they say through the actions that they display”
14. If they don’t meet your standards, stop and move on. If you can’t decide whether they do or don’t because you haven’t established a set of standards for yourself then you should get your list together before dating anyone else.
15. Make time to date! Dating is a process that requires an investment of your time, it’s just no way around it. If you’re so called too busy to date, more than likely what you really are “Ladies” is just tired of being let down by Mr.Right who turned out to be Mr. Wrong. Don’t mistake being busy for being disappointed!
16. Believe you are worthy of receiving Love and prepare yourself to give it back when it comes your way.
17. And last but not least… Stop being afraid to end it! You know it’s been over, You know it should be over, Why is it not over?